it started as an obsession.

this was no gradual want or desire. it was no idea backburnered,
slated for an eventual boilover. no seed crystal slow spiking
my reptile center like the dawning awareness of an itch.

there was no transition, it just was.

one minute i'm a-ok with my pale pink fleshy stubs. then bam,
two seconds later and i'm ready to hacksaw them off at the wrist.

i wanted monkey hands.